This bloke(小子，家伙) is lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his weeping wife and his four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking andathletic(运动的), but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt(小家畜，小牛)."Darling," the husband whispers, "Assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die. I'll forgive you if..."His wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest. Absolutely. No question. I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."The man then dies happy and the wife mutters under her breath, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
儿童英语笑话大全二：
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer(击剑者) took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of(期待，预期) the world's greatest blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast(吃惊的) . The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile."Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!""Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。
儿童英语笑话大全三：
3 girls died and was brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient(顺从的). Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question." "Which is ...?", they replied in unison(一致地) . "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the first girl."Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married.""Very good", said r. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key.""Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl."Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married.""Very good", said r. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key.""Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl."Oh no, not at all",she said. "I practically have sex with every guy I met, before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime"."Very good", said r. "Angel, give this room key."